Blog

When Siblings Speak: Transforming the IEP Journey Together

18th November 2025

When a child has an Individualized Education Plan (IEP), parents and educators are usually at the center of decision-making. However, siblings, who share daily life, routines, and experiences with the child, are often overlooked, despite their unique insights and emotional connection.

Including siblings in the IEP process not only strengthens family bonds but also helps them better understand their brother or sister’s needs. This is especially important for families enrolled in Parent Programs for Children with Special Needs, where whole-family involvement plays a crucial role in long-term success.

Let’s explore practical, meaningful ways to include siblings in the IEP journey.

Why Sibling Voice Matters in the IEP Process

Siblings play a powerful but often overlooked role in supporting a child with special needs. Understanding why their voice matters helps families and educators build a more complete, compassionate, and effective IEP experience.

1. Siblings Understand the Child in Natural, Everyday Environments

Siblings witness the child’s real behavior at home—how they play, communicate, deal with frustration, or respond to routines. These everyday observations often reveal patterns teachers may never see in school. Their insights can help the IEP team design strategies that translate across settings, leading to more consistent progress.

2. Helps Siblings Build Awareness and Understanding of the Disability

When siblings are excluded from the IEP journey, they may form misconceptions, worry unnecessarily, or feel confused about what their brother or sister needs. Involving them helps demystify the disability, making it easier for them to understand challenges, strengths, and support strategies in a factual, compassionate way.

3. Strengthens Family Connection and Reduces Emotional Pressure

Siblings sometimes feel left out when parents’ attention is focused on the child with special needs. Including them communicates that their feelings matter too. This reduces resentment or jealousy and encourages a supportive, united family environment throughout the IEP process.

4. Encourages Advocacy and Leadership Skills from a Young Age

Participating in discussions or support routines teaches siblings to advocate respectfully and constructively. They learn how to speak up, identify needs, and support equitable solutions—skills that benefit them throughout life and foster long-term empathy toward people with disabilities.

7 Ways to Include Siblings in the IEP Journey

Including siblings doesn’t mean giving them responsibility—it means giving them understanding, empowerment, and a voice. These practical strategies help families actively involve siblings in meaningful, healthy, and age-appropriate ways.

1. Have Open, Age-Appropriate Conversations About the IEP

Siblings should understand, in simple terms, what an IEP is and why their brother or sister has one. Educators and parents can use analogies, stories, or visuals to explain learning differences and goals. This builds awareness without overwhelming them, helping them feel informed rather than confused or excluded.

2. Invite Siblings to Share What They Observe at Home

Siblings often notice emotional triggers, strengths, communication attempts, or social behaviors that the school team may not be aware of. Parents can ask siblings specific questions like:

• “What helps your brother stay calm?”
   
• “What activities do you enjoy doing together?”
   
• “Have you noticed anything that is difficult for her?”
   These small contributions can significantly enrich the IEP’s accuracy and effectiveness.
   

3. Offer Opportunities for Siblings to Participate in Parts of the IEP Meeting

Not all meetings require them, but brief participation, such as sharing a positive story or describing what works at home—helps siblings feel seen and valued. It also allows them to understand that the family is working as a team to support their brother or sister.

4. Equip Siblings With Support Strategies They Can Use at Home

Siblings are often eager to help but may not know how. Teaching them simple strategies—like using visual cues, providing structured play choices, or using a calming technique—gives them confidence. It prevents accidental frustration and ensures they use approaches aligned with the IEP’s goals.

5. Encourage Siblings to Express Their Own Feelings

Siblings may feel proud, overwhelmed, protective, jealous, or confused, all at the same time. Allowing them to voice their emotions helps prevent emotional buildup. Techniques like journaling, check-in conversations, or guided family discussions help siblings process their experiences in healthy ways.

6. Celebrate Progress and Achievements Together

When the child meets an IEP goal, whether learning a new word, completing a routine, or improving communication, siblings should be part of the celebration. This reinforces the idea of shared progress and strengthens the bond between them, transforming progress into a family achievement rather than a school event.

7. Connect Siblings to Peer Support Groups or Sibling Workshops

Sibling support groups, workshops, and online communities help children share their experiences with peers who understand their journey. These groups normalize emotions, build resilience, and help siblings feel less alone. It also gives them coping tools and peer encouragement outside the home environment.

Final Thoughts

Including siblings in the IEP journey is not just beneficial, it’s essential. Their experiences offer valuable insights, their feelings shape family well-being, and their involvement builds a stronger support network for the child with special needs.

Families who participate in Special Needs Education for parents often discover that sibling engagement transforms both understanding and harmony within the household. By giving siblings a voice, we strengthen the entire IEP process and nurture more compassionate, informed, and connected families.

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)

1. Why should siblings be included in the IEP process?

Siblings understand the child’s daily routines, strengths, and challenges better than anyone. Including them provides valuable insights and also strengthens family communication and emotional well-being.

2. What is the best age to involve siblings in IEP discussions?

There is no set age, siblings can be included at any stage, as long as conversations are age-appropriate. Younger siblings may share simple observations, while older ones may participate more actively in discussions.

3. How can parents explain an IEP to young siblings?

Use simple language, visuals, and examples from daily life to help them understand why their brother or sister needs certain supports. Storybooks or short videos about disabilities can also make the explanation easier.

4. Should siblings attend IEP meetings?

They don’t need to attend the entire meeting. However, inviting them for a brief, positive part, such as sharing a story or talking about what works at home—helps them feel included and valued.

5. What if siblings feel overwhelmed or stressed about their role?

It’s important to reassure them that they are not responsible for their sibling’s progress. Encourage honest conversations and provide emotional support, reminding them that their feelings matter too.

6. Are there support groups for siblings of children with special needs?

Yes. Many communities, organizations, and online platforms offer sibling workshops, sibling support groups, and peer circles. These spaces help siblings connect with others who share similar experiences.

7. How can parents create a balanced environment for all their children?

By dividing attention fairly, maintaining family routines, celebrating each child’s strengths, and ensuring open communication, parents can create harmony and prevent feelings of neglect or resentment.